Bowlful of Crickets

Know of any good Finnish restuarants?

Know of ANY Finnish restuarants?

I’ve never had Finnish food, and if you listen to French President Jacques Chirac (who claims it’s the only thing worse than British food) or Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi (who said he had to "endure" Finnish food), I guess I’m not missing much.

But I will investigate further- I can’t fly to Finland any time in the near future and the Finnish speciality shops seem few and far between, so I will turn to the web to see what is has to offer.

There are over a million and a half hits on Google for Finnish food. Add Delicious to the search terms and you’re quickly down to 287,000. Not a good sign.

I quickly found the link for FinnishFood.Net- a website selling Finnish Food. Here’s how their catalog breaks down.

Bakery products-> (54)
Coffee, tea & cocoa-> (13)
Condiments-> (28 )
Confectionary-> (161)
Conserves-> (29)
Flour, porridge, mixes etc etc-> (48 )
Jams-> (5)
SEASONAL products-> (1)
Specialities-> (45)

Heavy on the sweets, but I think most ethnic food websites are. Hey, do you move do another country and miss your favorite ketchup? Well, maybe, but sweets would seem to be what most people might miss.

Clicking on confectionary, things break down this way:

Chewing gum (12)
Chocolate (48 )
Christmas Confectionary
Licorice (18 )
Other (34)
Salmiakki (26)
BIG treats-> (23)

Salmiakki? What’s that? Well, I looked it up- and I think I’ve tried it. Roughly speaking, it looks like liqourice, sometimes tastes like it and is quite salty, as its chief ingredient is ammonium chloride. Ammonium chloride is used in dry cells batteries and fertilizers…oh, and in Finnish candies and vodkas. If this was the stuff I had, I remember it being somewhat foul, but I also remember somehow liking it, too..

Other Finnish treats from the site:

I really dig this gum package. This kid’s from another era, but that won’t stop him from blowing bubbles, no sir..

I like a candy bars with a simple name…Jim is simple.

This was described as being hot and spicy fruit flavored candy. Why did somebody decide to make this in the first place, and why do I want to try it? (and did I just answer my own question?

This was described as "traditional old style meat soup, nothing else is like it." Somehow, I think this statement goes beyond marketing hyperbole.

All told, they’ve got some quirky foods, but nothing too different from any culture. Chitlins, anyone?

I also saw this on a different website discussing Finnish food:

Sausage is the basic Finnish fast food. According to a saying ‘A Finn is never too full not to eat a bit more sausage’. Grilled sausage is served at every jazz, rock and other music festival, and at sports meetings, fairs and agricultural shows.

My thoughts:

• Great saying
• Sausage at a rock concert? Good call.
• Sports Meetings? That’s excellent.

In othe Finnish news, I saw on the news recently that the annual Wife Carrying Contest occured in Finland. The contest, you may guess, involves a man carrying a woman (it doesn’t have to be his wife) through a course complete with dry and water obstacles.

The prizes to the winner include high-tech cell phones and rye bread- and the wife’s weight in beer.

Finland, your heart is definitely in the right place. World leaders, have some tradional meat soup and chill out.

Rhino Records has done many fine things for music, not the least of which is the creation of the 70’s and 80’s Pop Culture Box Sets.

Debbie and I loved both, and went as far as creating an additional 3 CDs to fill in the gaps left by the 7 disc 80’s box.

We even discussed the idea of compiling a 90’s box set. Alas, Rhino beat us to it.

On July 26, the 7 disc 130 track Whatever: The 90’s Pop Culture Box Set is released. I’m going to get it the day it comes out, I assure you of that. Is it perfect? Far from it. You may be surprised at me saying this, but I think it tries to be too alternative. I like alternative/indie/non-mainstream rock more than most, but this box set should be the home of one-hit wonders, not obscure college radio hits.

Here’s the tracklisting of the Rhino set- I’ve taken the liberty to draw a line through those I feel need replacing, and where I would substitute a different song by the same band, it’s in orange:

U CAN’T TOUCH THIS - M.C. Hammer

NOTHING COMPARES 2 U - Sinéad O’Connor

NO MYTH - Michael Penn

LADIES FIRST - Queen Latifah Featuring Monie Love

BALL AND CHAIN - Social Distortion

BIRDHOUSE IN YOUR SOUL - They Might Be Giants

CHLOE DANCER/CROWN OF THORNS - Mother Love Bone

HERE"S WHERE THE STORY ENDS- The Sundays Their cover of Wild Horses captures the time better

GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT (EVERYBODY DANCE NOW) - C & C Music Factory

GROOVE IS IN THE HEART - Deee-Lite

RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW - Jesus Jones

NEW JACK HUSTLER (NINO’S THEME) - Ice-T

I TOUCH MYSELF - Divinyls

UNBELIEVABLE - EMF

HARD TO HANDLE - The Black Crowes

O.P.P. - Naughty By Nature

WALKING IN MEMPHIS - Marc Cohn

IT’S SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE TO YESTERDAY - Boyz II Men

SILENT LUCIDITY - Queensrÿche

INTO THE DRINK - Mudhoney

GIRLFRIEND - Matthew Sweet

I’M TOO SEXY - Right Said Fred (R*S*F*)

CALLING ALL ANGELS-k.d. lang and Jane Siberry

ONLY SHALLOW - My Bloody Valentine

IT’S A SHAME ABOUT RAY - The Lemonheads

BABY GOT BACK - Sir Mix-A-Lot

THEY WANT EFX - DAS EFX

JUMP - Kris Kross

WALK- Pantera

N.W.O. - Ministry

SHITLIST- L7 Pretend We’re Dead- this HAD to be a copyright issue!

ABSYNTHE - The Gits

COATTAIL RIDER - Supersuckers

RUNAWAY TRAIN - Soul Asylum Black Gold, Somebody to Shove, anything less whiny than Runaway Train

LITTLE MISS CAN’T BE WRONG - Spin Doctors

DIZZ KNEE LAND - dada

NEARLY LOST YOU - Screaming Trees

UNDER THE BRIDGE - Red Hot Chili Peppers

UNSUNG - Helmet In The Meantime

JUMP AROUND - House Of Pain

FREE YOUR MIND - En Vogue

RUMP SHAKER - Wreckx-N-Effect

INFORMER - Snow

CONNECTED - Stereo MC’s

DETACHABLE PENIS - King Missile

FREAK ME - Silk

ORDINARY WORLD - Duran Duran

IF I CAN’T CHANGE YOUR MIND - Sugar

THREE LITTLE PIGS - Green Jellÿ

START CHOPPIN - Dinosaur Jr.

THE DEVIL’S CHASING ME - The Reverend Horton Heat

GONE TO THE MOON - Fastbacks

MY NAME IS MUD - Primus

WHAT’S UP - 4 Non Blondes

THUNDER KISS ‘65 - White Zombie More Human Than Human

WHOOMP! (THERE IT IS) - Tag Team

BROKEN HEARTED SAVIOR - Big Head Todd And The Monsters Bittersweet

TRUST ME - Guru with N’Dea Davenport

GEPETTO - Belly Feed The Tree! C’mon!

EYE TO EYE - The Muffs

GENTLEMEN - Afghan Whigs

LEAFY INCLINE

DREAM ALL DAY - The Posies Golden Blunders

HEY JEALOUSY - Gin Blossoms

MY SISTER - The Juliana Hatfield Three

WHATTA MAN - Salt-N-Pepa

BACK & FORTH - Aaliyah

IF THAT’S YOUR BOYFRIEND (HE WASN’T LAST NIGHT) - Me’Shell NdegéOcello

FREEDOM OF ‘76 - Ween Push Th’ Little Daisies

CUT YOUR HAIR - Pavement

GOD - Tori Amos Cornflake Girl

MMM MMM MMM MMM - Crash Test Dummies

POSSESSION - Sarah McLachlan

SHINE - Collective Soul

FAR BEHIND - Candlebox

YOU GOTTA BE - Des’ree

GIRL, YOU’LL BE A WOMAN SOON - Urge Overkill

SHE DON’T USE JELLY - The Flaming Lips

M.I.A. - 7 Year Bitch

21ST CENTURY (DIGITAL BOY) - Bad Religion

SUGAR FREE JAZZ - Soul Coughing Circles

MOCKINGBIRDS - Grant Lee Buffalo

WHAT’S THE FREQUENCY, KENNETH? - R.E.M.

REVOLVE - Melvins

BUDDY HOLLY - Weezer

HERE AND NOW - Letters To Cleo

GOOD - Better Than Ezra

RUN-AROUND - Blues Traveler

I’LL BE THERE FOR YOU (THEME FROM "FRIENDS" ) - The Rembrandts

TOMORROW - Silverchair

NOT A PRETTY GIRL - Ani DiFranco

CARNIVAL - Natalie Merchant Thank You or These Are The Days

WONDERWALL - Oasis

BIRTHDAY CAKE - Cibo Matto

CUMBERSOME - Seven Mary Three

ONE OF US - Joan Osborne

CAUGHT BY THE FUZZ - Supergrass

SWEET 69 - Babes In Toyland

BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S - Deep Blue Something

PHOTOGRAPH - The Verve Pipe Freshmen

IN THE MEANTIME - Spacehog

WOO HAH!! GOT YOU ALL IN CHECK - Busta Rhymes featuring Rampage The Last Boy Scout

WHO WILL SAVE YOUR SOUL - Jewel

STANDING OUTSIDE A BROKEN PHONE BOOTH WITH MONEY IN MY HAND - Primitive Radio Gods

CYBELE’S REVERIE - Stereolab

CAPRI PANTS - Bikini Kill

WHAT I GOT - Sublime

KUNG FU - Ash

VIRTUAL INSANITY - Jamiroquai

NAKED EYE - Luscious Jackson

OUTTASITE (OUTTA MIND) - Wilco

ITSZOWEEZEE (HOT) - De La Soul A Rollerskating Jam Called "Saturdays"

LOVEFOOL - The Cardigans

RADIATION VIBE - Fountains Of Wayne Sink To The Bottom

THE IMPRESSION THAT I GET - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

TURN IT ON - Sleater-Kinney

BITCH - Meredith Brooks

MMMBOP - Hanson

BRIAN WILSON (Live) - Barenaked Ladies

BRICK - Ben Folds Five

SEX AND CANDY - Marcy Playground

WALKING ON THE SUN - Smash Mouth

TUBTHUMPING - Chumbawamba

6 UNDERGROUND - Sneaker Pimps

LULLABY - Shawn Mullins

SLIDE - Goo Goo Dolls I’m not nuts about any of these, but We Are The Normal, Name or even the sea chanty Iris are better representations

KISS ME - Sixpence None The Richer

STEAL MY SUNSHINE - LEN

WHAT IT’S LIKE - Everlast

NATURAL BLUES - Moby

All told, not too many replacements. Rhino, not surprisingly, did a nice job. Some obvious rights conflicts (no U2, Madonna, etc.) and a crazy amount of grunge and its offshoots, but a solid set that should keep me away from the skip button most of the time.

The good folks at Stylus- who beat me to this exercize by several weeks- offer an alternate version of the box set- unencumbered by pesky things like actually getting the rights to include the song and sell it. Between the Rhino set and Stylus’ list, there’s a ton of songs- both good and bad- worth hearing again.

To the brave yogurt-making men and women at Yoplait:

I hope this blog entry finds you well. I enjoy your products several times a week- keep up the good work.

I do have a question for you, most likely directed to your marketing folks.

I noticed today that the Yoplait Light Blueberry flavored yogurt is called Blueberry Patch.

Why is it named after the place the fruit came from, rather than the fruit itself?

Your cherry flavor is called Very Cherry- certainly the blueberry yogurt’s intensity is of a level to merit a Very tag as well. Additionally, you chose not to call the cherry yogurt Cherry Orchard. Wise move.

Suppose you were to expand into other foods- would you name them this way?:

Salmon: Mountain Stream
Steak: Cattle Ranch
Rhubarb: It was growing there when we moved in
Hot Dog: Miscellaneous Bin

I think not. So I offer you the following alternate names for your blueberry product:

Very Blueberry (keeping with you established brands)
Awfully Blueberry
Blue’s Cluesberry (expand to a younger demographic)
The Bluest of all the Berries
Midnight Blueberry (appeals to fans of Foreigner singer Lou Gramm’s solo career)
Vida Bluberry (Fans of the early 70’s Oakland A’s will be thrilled)
You’re my boy, Blue!berry (If there’s ever an Old School 2)

I have offered you several mediocre choices. Change your product’s name post haste!

Regards,
The CD Junkie

Sometimes you wish all these "limited editions" of famous brands would go away.

Sometimes you don’t.

I’ve been a big fan of the Mounds bar for years- growing up, it was one of my mom’s favorites, so it was thankfully in the house from time to time. Dark chocolate. Sweetened coconut. Simple- and perfect in my book.

Throw in almonds and the bar is extra special, one would think. But no- Peter Paul just had to make Almond Joy milk chocolate. You had me and you lost me, Pete- if that is your real name.

So not only did Peter Paul make things right (if only for a limited time) when the introduced the Chocolate Chocolate Almond Joy, they did it one better. They made the coconut chocolate too.

Dear reader, this candy bar is sensational. The idea of chocolate coconut, dark chocolate and almonds (lightly coated in chocolate. per the Almond Joy tradition) is my idea of candy bar bliss. This combination is not for everyone, but I’m in confectionary heaven- even if, indeed, it’s only for a limited time.