Bowlful of Crickets

To give you an idea of how backed-up I am on sodas reviews, Mountain Dew has released the reformulated Pitch Black before I got the chance to review the first one. I actually DID review the first one, but my brilliant, poignant post was DELETED befor I could make it live. I will admit, some foul language was involved. When it got deleted, I mean, not in my review.

So let me now kill two grape "infused" citrus beverages with one stone.

Name: Mountain Dew Pitch Black
Alleged Flavor: Mountain Dew "with a blast of Black Grape"
Actual Flavor: Mountain Dew mixed with your average grape soda
Color: The Deepest of Purples
Tasting sample was from: 20 oz. plastic bottle, poured into glass

Following on the heels of their limited edition Code Red (Cherry) and Live Wire (Orange) flavors, the Dew Corporate Brass have introduced Mountain Dew Pitch Black- or Mountain Dew Grape, for those of us who aren’t part of the XTREME snowboarder culture Mountain Dew is obviously targeting.

So how does it taste? Like grape-flavored Mountain Dew. Not sure what’s so "black grape" about this, other than the ton of food coloring they dumped in. So is this a good taste? Well, it’s not a BAD taste. As grape sodas go, I like this better than most, most likely because the Dew’s citrus flavor cuts a little of the grape. Grape sodas generally strike me as too sweet, so this was a bit of a treat. Not an everyday soda for me, but not bad in execution.

Not for the faint of heart related story: I guess that food coloring has to go somewhere.

Review: 5 out of 10.

Name: Mountain Dew Pitch Black- Part II
Alleged Flavor: Mountain Dew "with a blast of grape flavor with a SOUR BITE"
Actual Flavor: Mountain Dew with a blast of grape SWEET TARTS
Color: A nice light purple on the can’s rim, somehow a super dark purple in the glass.
Tasting sample was from: 12 oz. can, poured into glass

About 8 months after Pitch Black, Mountain Dew goes for a sequel. Pitch Black II just hit the shelves (did we learn NOTHING from New Coke? A II after a soda’s name is the kiss of death!). The difference- it’s still grape flavored Mountain Dew, but this time it has a SOUR BITE. Which is something I think Montain Dew itself could use- see my review of Sun Drop.

So, does the newly-sour Pitch Black bite? Not hardly. In fact, it’s a mighty fine tart beverage. The grape flavor is very reminiscent of Sweet Tarts- sweet, but very sour and tangy. Grape is not my favorite flavor, but this is grape done right. A nice showing from the Dew camp. Data on what the sequel does to your…uh, leavings…is not yet available.

Rating: 7.5 out of 10

The good people at The Impulsive Buy naturally beat me to this. They like the original better, but are fine with the sequel.

The hard-working folks at 7-11 have decided that it’s not enough to sell America someone else’s soda in obscenely large amounts- at last chek, there was the Big Gulp,the Super Big Gulp, the Mega Big Gulp, the Super Mega Big Gulp, and the DynoMega SuperDeluxe BladderBuster Xtreme. 7-11 is now selling flavors that carry their name, in 20-ounce wide mouth bottles. Get it? Wide-mouth? Big Gulp?

Despite the cheap packaging, I was immediately drawn to these- due to the unusual flavors they chose to enter the soda-producing world with. I didn’t try the diet cola- but I tried the three non-diet varieties. Here then, is my review of all three, in the order I drank them.

Name: Big Gulp Apple Ginger Snap
Alleged Flavor: Apple, I’m guessing, with some sort of ginger, somehow snapped together.
Actual Flavor: Apple Slice, could this be your long lost brother?
Color: An autumnal, apple-juicy amber
Tasting sample was from: Big mouth 20 oz. plastic bottle, poured into glass

Where jackass sodas are concerned, the one that I pine for is Apple Slice, avaible in the late 80′s when everything was getting the Slice treatment- I believe there was even a Lemonade Slice. The Apple variety tasted a lot like carbonated apple juice- and for some reason, this appealed to my taste buds in the way few other sodas have.

I don’t think this is a dead ringer for Apple Slice, but it’s close enough for me that I was elated. A little gingery/spice flavor in there- making it carbonated apple cider to Slice’s juice with fizz flavor, or Jones’ Soda’s sour apple candy flavor. This could very well be the soda equivalent of dating someone that looks like an old flame. But this is soda, we’re talking about, not dating, so I think much of the creepy factor doesn’t exist here. If drinking Big Gulp Apple Ginger Snap Soda is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

Rating: 9.5 out 10. Let me try a few more before giving it a full 10…

Name: Big Gulp Mint Lime Twist
Alleged Flavor: A subtle, refreshing blend of mint and lime, I’m guessing
Actual Flavor: New from Proctor and Gamble- Scope with Lime!
Color: You know that blue automotive window-washing fluid? Picture it in green, only a little murky.
Tasting sample was from: Big mouth 20 oz. plastic bottle, poured into glass

Tim (sitting down with glass of bright green soda): Well, here goes nothing!
Debbie: I can’t believe you’re going to drink that!
Tim: Hey, I have to, it’s for my blog! My readers are counting on me!

Readers, you owe me one. Big time. This stuff was nasty. As I lifed the glass near my face, I could think only one thing- mouthwash. As I drank, it started minty and ended up very lime, and not an unpleasant lime, either. But with mint? Who’s idea was that?

I will say this- it does what it sets out to do- it’s a nice balance of mint and lime flavors. Two flavors which do not belong together. You don’t see chocolate-covered bacon for a reason- some tastes should never meet.

Rating: 2 out of 10

Name: Big Gulp Cola- Made With Cane Sugar
Alleged Flavor: Cola, presumably without any High Fuctose Corn Syrup bite
Actual Flavor: The most Royal of Royal Crown Colas
Color: It’s brown, like cola should be (take that, fading memory of Crystal Pepsi!)
Tasting sample was from: Big mouth 20 oz. plastic bottle.

A few words about cane sugar in soda as opposed to high fructose corn syrup (or HFCS in the soda geek world that I am slowly being sucked into). Cane sugar takes away that sticky-sweet after taste most non-diet sodas have, givng the cane sugar sodas a more well-balanced flavor that’s not too sweet. If you see a soda made with cane sugar, buy it and drink it- it’s a quality beverage. The two best sodas I’ve had are the Boylan Cane Sugar Colar and the Dr. Pepper in the small glass bottles from Dublin, TX (the last place making the Dr. with cane sugar). These two sodas are as close to perfection as you can get in soft drink form. Oh, and apparentlky cane sugar is much more expensive- the two afformentioned sodas will set you back at least $3 for 4 10 oz. glass bottles.

So, my hopes were high for 7-11′s cane sugar cola- 99 cents for 20 ounces of cane sugared goodness? Well, maybe it wasn’t cold enough, but I just think they spent their cola budget on cane sugar when they need to allocate a little more towards the recipie. The result- the best non-Coke and non-Pepsi cola I’ve had in long time, with exception of Boylan, which is in another league entirely. I hereby crown Big Gulp the King of Cut-Rate Colas- long may he reign! A good alternative for Coke and Pepsi drinkers wanting less aftertaste- but unfortunately, it means less taste as well.

Rating: 6.5 out of 10