(Union) Jackass Soda: Tizer

(Part Three in the British/Irish soda reviews- and it’s all gone pear-shaped)

Name: Tizer (I thought it was It’z Red, too, but guess that’s just a tagline)
Alleged Flavor: "…and it tastes red!"
Actual Flavor: It tastes clear- like Sprite without the Lemon-Lime
Color: Red. Very Red.
Tasting sample was from: 330 ml. can, poured into glass

TIZER- IT’Z RED
A play in one act

Characters: Tim, Debbie
Setting: Modern times, in a family room.

(Tim enters the room with a glass of bright red soda. Debbie is seated)

Debbie: What’s that?

Tim: It’z Red.

Debbie (mildly annoyed): I can see that.

Tim: It’z Red. That’s what it’s called. It’z Red…or Tizer.

Debbie: Weird.

(Tim takes a sniff)

Debbie: What’s it smell like?

Tim: Nothing. It has no smell.

(Tim takes a drink)

Debbie: So what does it tastes like.

Tim (incredulous): Nothing. It tastes like nothing.

Debbie: That’s crazy.

(Tim continues to drink)

Tim: Maybe it tastes like Sprite, if Sprite wasn’t Lemon-Lime. It’s just sweet, no other taste.

(Tim drinks more)

Debbie: Huh.

Tim (sticking out tongue, then excitedly): So , is my tongue red?

Debbie: No.

Tim (sadly): Huh. It says on the can "May stain clothing if spilt."

Debbie: Well, your tongue is different than clothing. And it’s already pink to begin with. So it won’t stain your tongue.

Tim (firmly): What’s the point, then?

-The End-

Rating: 0 out of 10.