Bowlful of Crickets

This is pure genius, reblogged from rach:

onandon:

soupsoup:

• Always do whatever’s next.
• At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
• Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
• By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
• Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
• Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
• Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
• Electricity is really just organized lightning
• Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity
• Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac
• I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don’t have as many people who believe it.
• I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
• I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer’s disease where they slowly began to recover other people’s lost memories.

paulscheer:

BREAKING NEWS…..

Universal Studios Hollywood has announced its determination to rebuild and
replace the film sets that were lost in last Sunday’s fire. Promising a new, compelling guest experience will ultimately replace the 22-year-old King Kong attraction.

Here are some of the ideas they have to replace KING KONG: The Ride..

K-Pax…The Adventure Continues.

Join the loveable K-Pax as he takes you to his homeworld, which needs your help. Only you have the power to save his planet. (with Video Introduction by Jeff Daniels)

Erin Brockovich: The Ride in 3-D!
This virtual imax experience takes you through the the ups and downs of getting diagnosed with cancer from polluted drinking water to trying to get the proper help for your claim. Will you get compensated or die trying? -3 Different Endings, ride it again and again to see them all

Captain’s Corelli’s Magical Mandolin Journey
Experience the sites and sounds of WWII Italy as an animatronic Nicholas Cage plays the mandolin and tells you all about his life and loves. Include over 15 different Nicholas Cage animatronic robots.

TV: Bravo, Mr. Scheer!

“beenthinking:

ideas:

The incredibly rare apathetic graffiti”

TV: That’s just fantastic.

I reblogged from davereed who was one of dozens who rightfully felt this was worth blogging.

MikeSacks » photos of TV 

TV: Lots of good ones here. The above would make a good title/cover to a rap album that i would love to hear… (reblogged from jakoblodwick)

Reblogging thegreenfieldsofthemind reblogging kiyoshimartinez, The Onion has some good Sunday magazine spoofs - this is one of my favorites

onemoretimewithfeeling:

These are great.

TV: I’ve got to concur. Worth wasting some time and going back several pages, too.